Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Waking Up With The Ill-Informed.

Any day I wake up and the first voice I hear is a crazy man on television ranting about Psychology 101 is destined to be...well...just a little more stupid. But this is what happens when I surface long enough to see early morning television programming. My mind is in an easily distracted state, and the sight of the people so full of energy that early fascinates me. The strange, and slighty alarming, news conference was followed by a hoarse Rachael Ray and then The View, which usually ends up on because Mum watches the ABC news, but I always seem to be the only person who listens to what they say on that show, because yesterday when I started screaming, "Did you hear that?" I got dead first.

If you're at all familiar with The View, you have an idea of who said this, and if you don't know the hosts of The View, it won't matter who said it, but what's important is that there are people, out in the world, who work in television, who make enough money to be able to live in Manhattan, and who are sure Jesus came before "The Greeks."

A discussion about the Greek philosopher Epicurus, who lived from 341 B.C. to 270 B.C. and was there at the beginning of science as explaining things without reasons like, "Zeus is pissed off at you today," coincidentally turned into Sherri Shepherd's astonishment that anyone could be happy without faith in their life. She wasn't going by Dante or Constantine or Lactantius, no, she was going by, "Greeks threw Christians to the lions."

I'll let that sink in for a second.

While that's sinking in, remember I spent every summer from the age of 5 watching Clash of The Titans almost like I lived during those times in a past life. (Yes, of course I mean the 1980s, what did you think I meant?) I saw Xanadu before Life of Brian, I used to read the comic strip B.C., and I still celebrate the Chinese New Year and Jewish New Year because, damn, that's a lot of numbers. I'm not over-reacting when I say it is not impossible to notice that some people were around before Jesus. I think, like, he saved a few and stuff, and lots of people turned away from other beliefs to follow his teachings. You know, after Cetus ran out of pirates to eat! John the Baptist was a ninja, you know. Yes. From space. The Vikings were laying low with the Incas in Australia around then, weren't they?

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