The History of Made Up Rules Makes Me Shudder

Is it even a surprise that I'm embarrassed that Prop. 8 passed in California and Amendment 2 passed in Florida? Last week the abortion bans on various tickets were shot down and gave women one less thing to worry about (for a while, anyway), and a man was elected who gave an entire generation of kids something to feel good about. But some people in California who were already married, who already had the right to marry, had that taken away by a group of lobbyists and...what?

What the flipping hell, people? Did you wake up last week thinking, "Give us progress--but not too much!" Do you really think the economy is shot because only one man goes to work while the other stays home and decorates? Do you really think limiting the amount of hot lesbian action is going to stop global warming? Do you really think other countries will be so horrified if people who happen to have matching genitals want to raise a family? Did you really...think? Did you even realize that voting yes on Prop. 8 meant "No, you lot over there, you can't." Or did someone tell you how to think, because you don't really care one way or the other?

The fact that I'm following my own opinion with Keith Olbermann's may give you an out, you know, "Oh, she listens to HIM," but it's the other way around, he said what I wanted to say better (and a bit less volatile) than I just said it. Maybe it comes off like I waited for him to say something before I did, but no, I've been busy and the last few posts were set to go on the dates they were posted, but this one today...this one's live.

I'm too many miles away from the protests, and I thought after last week I could put the soapbox away for a while, but love itself is need of love today, and that's all that matters, and to go for the trifecta, it's the only thing that there's just too little of. Someday, kids, someday. Until then I suggest Connecticut, it's a lovely place to get married.

(Text for the low-bandwidth.)

Listing of protests and rallies around the country.

The History of Made Up Rules Makes Me Shudder

Waking Up With The Ill-Informed.

Any day I wake up and the first voice I hear is a crazy man on television ranting about Psychology 101 is destined to be...well...just a little more stupid. But this is what happens when I surface long enough to see early morning television programming. My mind is in an easily distracted state, and the sight of the people so full of energy that early fascinates me. The strange, and slighty alarming, news conference was followed by a hoarse Rachael Ray and then The View, which usually ends up on because Mum watches the ABC news, but I always seem to be the only person who listens to what they say on that show, because yesterday when I started screaming, "Did you hear that?" I got dead air...at first.

If you're at all familiar with The View, you have an idea of who said this, and if you don't know the hosts of The View, it won't matter who said it, but what's important is that there are people, out in the world, who work in television, who make enough money to be able to live in Manhattan, and who are sure Jesus came before "The Greeks."

A discussion about the Greek philosopher Epicurus, who lived from 341 B.C. to 270 B.C. and was there at the beginning of science as explaining things without reasons like, "Zeus is pissed off at you today," coincidentally turned into Sherri Shepherd's astonishment that anyone could be happy without faith in their life. She wasn't going by Dante or Constantine or Lactantius, no, she was going by, "Greeks threw Christians to the lions."

I'll let that sink in for a second.

While that's sinking in, remember I spent every summer from the age of 5 watching Clash of The Titans almost like I lived during those times in a past life. (Yes, of course I mean the 1980s, what did you think I meant?) I saw Xanadu before Life of Brian, I used to read the comic strip B.C., and I still celebrate the Chinese New Year and Jewish New Year because, damn, that's a lot of numbers. I'm not over-reacting when I say it is not impossible to notice that some people were around before Jesus. I think, like, he saved a few and stuff, and lots of people turned away from other beliefs to follow his teachings. You know, after Cetus ran out of pirates to eat! John the Baptist was a ninja, you know. Yes. From space. The Vikings were laying low with the Incas in Australia around then, weren't they?

Waking Up With The Ill-Informed.

Really sorry about the Pope.

Remember kids, just because the grown-ups are taller it doesn't mean they're smart.

As a sort of Catholic person, I just want to quickly take a moment before I'm killed to say that Popes through the ages generally are like the crazy old dude in the neighborhood who doesn't like living next door to anyone who doesn't look exactly like himself, and doesn't want their daughters going out wearing those damned slutty turtlenecks. He honestly just does not get that what he's saying is totally wrong, and his kids aren't going to mess up a perfectly nice day calling him on it, because the truth is he's just repeating what he heard some other old dude say.

Manuel II Paleologus...not really all that hep on his history, that guy. Totally missed the news about the Crusades. Or else he knew, and was just one of those ball-busters like some of the old dudes of today who say Hitler really cleaned things up before he went all ape-shit.

Of course I wouldn't be writing about this unless I had a brilliant solution. I think it might be a good idea to put the Pope on a five-minute tape delay, maybe hire Dead Air Dave to ride the dump button, and possibly get a session or two in with Miss Manners. Or Madonna; I think Madonna might be able to talk some sense into the Pope. If all else fails, I hear Sinéad O'Connor is still interested in rescuing God from religion. I wish her luck.

Really sorry about the Pope.

The Internet Is Evil; Please send bagels.

Some rabbis urge faithful to unplug.

I'm not hep to the ways of the Orthodox Jewish community, so I'm not entirely sure what the Orthodox Jewish kids grow up to be. When I saw on the news that the Lakewood community in New Jersey was asking parents to take computers away from children in an effort to keep them safe, my first thought was, "There goes any future job skills," but then I realized maybe there's hope. Maybe some good can come of this.

The Bronx needs a good Jewish bakery. We haven't had one in many years. While I realize no one in Lakewood will be reading this message, I hope some of the heathen computer-using friends of the Rabbis pass the message along that the Internet is very happy that there are less children it has to hide from, and all it asks in return is some good baking.

I'm a little surprised at myself, that after 16 years of teaching computer literacy, I too think it's better for the Internet that less people go online. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to go work on a screenplay for a sequel to Yentl, where Anshel's grandkids sing songs about how Weebl & Bob make them feel, and wackiness ensues.

The Internet Is Evil; Please send bagels.