Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Really sorry about the Pope.

Remember kids, just because the grown-ups are taller it doesn't mean they're smart.

As a sort of Catholic person, I just want to quickly take a moment before I'm killed to say that Popes through the ages generally are like the crazy old dude in the neighborhood who doesn't like living next door to anyone who doesn't look exactly like himself, and doesn't want their daughters going out wearing those damned slutty turtlenecks. He honestly just does not get that what he's saying is totally wrong, and his kids aren't going to mess up a perfectly nice day calling him on it, because the truth is he's just repeating what he heard some other old dude say.

Manuel II Paleologus...not really all that hep on his history, that guy. Totally missed the news about the Crusades. Or else he knew, and was just one of those ball-busters like some of the old dudes of today who say Hitler really cleaned things up before he went all ape-shit.

Of course I wouldn't be writing about this unless I had a brilliant solution. I think it might be a good idea to put the Pope on a five-minute tape delay, maybe hire Dead Air Dave to ride the dump button, and possibly get a session or two in with Miss Manners. Or Madonna; I think Madonna might be able to talk some sense into the Pope. If all else fails, I hear Sinéad O'Connor is still interested in rescuing God from religion. I wish her luck.

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