Thursday, November 24, 2005



No really, I mean that. I mean, if y'all weren't here to read my words, it'd be like the rest of my day--me babbling to the desk.

Enjoy whatever you might eat today, I think that's the point of this holiday. Unless this is when I should be out throwing tomatoes at myself. I get confused.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Internet Is Evil; Please send bagels.

Some rabbis urge faithful to unplug.

I'm not hep to the ways of the Orthodox Jewish community, so I'm not entirely sure what the Orthodox Jewish kids grow up to be. When I saw on the news that the Lakewood community in New Jersey was asking parents to take computers away from children in an effort to keep them safe, my first thought was, "There goes any future job skills," but then I realized maybe there's hope. Maybe some good can come of this.

The Bronx needs a good Jewish bakery. We haven't had one in many years. While I realize no one in Lakewood will be reading this message, I hope some of the heathen computer-using friends of the Rabbis pass the message along that the Internet is very happy that there are less children it has to hide from, and all it asks in return is some good baking.

I'm a little surprised at myself, that after 16 years of teaching computer literacy, I too think it's better for the Internet that less people go online. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to go work on a screenplay for a sequel to Yentl, where Anshel's grandkids sing songs about how Weebl & Bob make them feel, and wackiness ensues.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A quick summary:

Material Girl is on the radio, but there is too much stuff in the way so I cannot roll my chair across the room anymore.

My firewall has been locking me out of teh internets, but I think I've figured out what's wrong.

I'm really, really busy, and have nothing to show for it.

I did write an ode, however:

Radiator, you're my friend;
when the Raynaud's starts,
you make it end.
Please don't fall through the floor and scald me.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

By the power of disco....

He-Man sings!

Ah, the memories this brings back.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I need to stop liking shows that are still on the air.

As I learned from J Ro, Arrested Development is quite possibly getting canned. This does not surprise me, as it is a good show.

I hereby deny ever having watched television. Yeah, that's right...I don't like radio much either....

Think that convinced the execs at Fox and Infinity?

[edit]: posting from e-mail does not make a pretty post.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Sal the Swimmer

There once was a man who went for a swim;
he wore a life vest and carried with him
a raft full of air,
and a brown folding chair.

He climbed into the water
yelled "AAAAAH!" and splashed about.
His grandson and granddaughter
rushed over to help him out.

Grabbing his neck to use as a brace,
they helped him onto the raft,
but were all splashed in the face
by the flimsy inflatable craft.

Would they go under?
They started to wonder.
No fear, they all survived
to have hot dogs, sodas and fries.

And the three tired swimmers
sat eating their dinners,
while the man's grandchildren
told him he was cool,
as they sat by the side of the
three-foot-high pool.

As you can see, the story is true.

Monday, November 07, 2005


It will be a day long remembered....