Sunday, October 30, 2005

Television alert!

Any of you out there with the Encore Action channel, there will be a film shown at 10:50AM on Tuesday, November 1.

In The Year 2889. Oh, if you haven't seen it, don't pass up the chance. Personally, I'm beyond glee at the prospect of seeing this one again, and this time...I shall be ready with a tape.

While I'm recommending movies, all I will say about the new Sherlock Holmes with Rupert Everett is this: Dr. John Watson is a flame-handed ninja. All these years, I never knew. Wow.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Happy Birthday, Rainbow Heron!

*curls a huge, flaming birthday cake across the Internet*

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Dark Day.

Nationally, more than 2,000 US soldiers have been killed in Iraq.

Locally, it was announced that 92.3 K-Rock is flipping to all-talk in January.

And here, in my room, I check my daily dose of Star Wars to find that William Hootkins passed away on Sunday. He was Porkins, to many. Lt. Eckhardt to Batman fans, Major "It's in a safe place" Eaton to anyone who's seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. It makes me sad to know that there will never be a Star Wars convention that I will go to when I'm old just to meet one man, to thank him for the friends I found because of his character.

He was an amazing character actor, a great voice, and I really can't write any more without getting really sappy.

Clear skies, Porkins.

The world has also lost Mugsy from The Uncle Floyd Show. I watched that show all the time, even on UHF stations with bad reception, and Mugsy was great. Capt. Fork ruled. I need to get my old tapes out and relive the good times.

Friday, October 21, 2005

If I only had a belfry...or some garlic and holy water...or even a penguin.

Every year, the city sprays ineffective pesticides around the area in the hopes of killing mosquitoes that might carry West Nile Virus. This year was no exception, even though we didn't get that much rain. I have not thought about mosquitoes lately, because they haven't really been around biting me. I attributed this to the dry weather and went on itching for other reasons. Now, even after a week of rain, there are still no mosquitoes.

That's the point where I realize that it was in fact a bat I saw flying overhead the other night. Bats love them some mosquitoes. I just really hope these aren't the radical kind of bats that watch Cujo on weekends before taking to the skies in search of snacks.

The following joke comes from the wild blacksploitation days of the '70s, and may be offensive to some. Having grown up watching movies like Love at First Bite, however, I cannot pass up this opportunity.

According to an old Windows program I have (Phoebe 3.15 by Anthony Nguyen), this 4702nd year in Chinese astrology is the year of the Black Chicken. I'm sure, like me, the bats have been waiting for this a long time. Of course, some web sites say it's really the year of the Green Chicken, and that could explain the sudden interest in bird flu, but I'm sticking with Black Chicken, at least until a bat flies into my house, at which time I will either begin screaming like Willie Scott in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom or cracking Hunter S. Thompson jokes.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

A High Wind Advisory is in effect for the tri-state area.

If I only had some pants.

Hold on to your hats and pants. If the choice must be made, for the sake of the children, hold on to the pants. You will miss your pants most of all.

If I had crows, they might be extra-scared today.

I could stick some little horns where the hat used to be, give him a lightsaber, and call him Darth Tatterdemalion, but the legless apprentice thing is wearing a little thin.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Sad news items.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm too old, too young, or just too picky.

Ricola, the cough drop company, is having a contest. They send a "mystery cougher" out onto the streets, and if you offer a Ricola to the right hacking stranger, you can win prizes. I suspect you can also win something if you get too close to coughing people who are not Ricola employees, but that might not be as fun.


Even I do not love MP3s so much that I would implant them in my boobs. Although I really would like to take the opportunity to get dibs on the names iTit, MP34-DD and the slogan "Music soothes the flat breasts." Mark my words, man-boobies will be in when these players hit the market.


The local news is going to hell fast. Today, on the five o'clock news, Diana Williams called the latest Star Wars video game "Battlefront Eleven"


On the WENN feed from, comes this nugget of wisdom:

Madonna Song Offends Rabbis
Pop superstar Madonna has provoked fierce criticism from Jewish leaders after dedicating a song on her new album to a 16th century Kabbalist rabbi. The controversial track "Isaac" draws on the life of Yitzhak Luria, a Jewish mystic, but rabbis are suspicious the Material Girl singer may be exploiting his name for profit. Madonna, who is Kabbalah follower herself, is no stranger to religious contention. Her 1984 single Like A Virgin sparked uproar amongst Christians after the raunchy music video featured a black Jesus Christ character. And Jewish elders are similarly unimpressed by her latest musical tribute, suggesting it could even prompt divine retribution. Rabbi Rafael Cohen, head of a seminary named after Luria, says, "Jewish law forbids the use of the name of the holy rabbi for profit. Her act is just simply unacceptable and I can only sympathize for her because of the punishment that she is going to receive from the heavens."

I know, I're all too young to see the error in that one. So I'll just paste in the note I e-mailed to WENN:

On the Internet Movie Database's Movie & TV news story, "Madonna Song Offends Rabbis," you state that the video for Madonna's 1984 "Like A Virgin" featured a black Jesus Christ character. In fact, it was the 1989 "Like A Prayer" video that featured the black Jesus Christ character. "Like A Virgin" only had a man in a plush lion mask hitting on Madonna in a gondola.

As I recall, people were alarmed by the lion-plushie-man as well back in '84, but I didn't go into that.

Learn from my mistakes.

To everyone who has ever lost an Internet connection...even now, in the days of Plug 'n' Play....



That is all.

15 years...and I'm still trying to get online. I can't say that Prodigy was any easier.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I killed the Internet again.

I need to stop doing that. It's bad. I'll surely be put on trial for crimes against computer kind at some point before I die. Probably right before, as the Internets will want their revenge.

Okay, I gotta go figure out how to revive it as well as the good magician who found me rotting in a Lofty Mountains ditch back in 1986.

Day: 11433 Evening
Strength: 40%
Health: 60%
Aura: 80%
Power: Killin'
Position: DC4
Weather: Rain
Move: Wussy

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

So you think I didn't watch the entire thing?

So You Think You Can Dance? is finally over. I'm shocked that the guy I thought might win actually won.

So shocked...that I really have nothing more to say on the subject. Except that next week I'll have an extra hour free to do things I won't recall the next day.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

This is talking.

Dear diary,

Today I drove like a wheelman and dyed my hair. Tomorrow, I'm going to burn off my fingerprints.

I woulda made a good spy.

Except for the fact that I talk too much.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

New beginnings.

I heard the song on the radio from Breakin' last night, Theres No Stoppin' Us. I always liked that song, and it always reminds me of 1984, which was one hell of a ride. I had, an hour earlier, done something I'd put off for far too long. It occured to me that elsewhere, my breakdancing buddy from 21 years ago was also starting a new phase of his life. I would like to think that Ollie and Jerry were sending their blessings to everyone starting over again.

Not as predicted, October arrived to find foliage in good health. Also not as predicted, I too lived to see autumn, when the air gets good and the sun is kinder to things.

My city is crazy, banning people that don't have children with them from parks. I think a law like this might make it a bit easier for Aqualung to pick up little girls, "I have to go to the park, wanna go with me?" but maybe I'm crazier than the city.

And, when comprehensible content fails, there are memes:

You scored as Capt. Mal Reynolds. The Captain. You are the captain of the ship, so the crew are your responsibility. You just want to do the job, get paid and keep flying. Why is that always so hard?

Capt. Mal Reynolds


Kaylee Frye


Shepherd Derrial Book


River Tam


The Operative


Zoe Alleyne Washburne


Inara Serra


Simon Tam


Hoban 'Wash' Washburne


Jayne Cobb


Which Serenity character are you?
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