If I only had a belfry...or some garlic and holy water...or even a penguin.

Every year, the city sprays ineffective pesticides around the area in the hopes of killing mosquitoes that might carry West Nile Virus. This year was no exception, even though we didn't get that much rain. I have not thought about mosquitoes lately, because they haven't really been around biting me. I attributed this to the dry weather and went on itching for other reasons. Now, even after a week of rain, there are still no mosquitoes.

That's the point where I realize that it was in fact a bat I saw flying overhead the other night. Bats love them some mosquitoes. I just really hope these aren't the radical kind of bats that watch Cujo on weekends before taking to the skies in search of snacks.

The following joke comes from the wild blacksploitation days of the '70s, and may be offensive to some. Having grown up watching movies like Love at First Bite, however, I cannot pass up this opportunity.

According to an old Windows program I have (Phoebe 3.15 by Anthony Nguyen), this 4702nd year in Chinese astrology is the year of the Black Chicken. I'm sure, like me, the bats have been waiting for this a long time. Of course, some web sites say it's really the year of the Green Chicken, and that could explain the sudden interest in bird flu, but I'm sticking with Black Chicken, at least until a bat flies into my house, at which time I will either begin screaming like Willie Scott in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom or cracking Hunter S. Thompson jokes.

If I only had a belfry...or some garlic and holy water...or even a penguin.