Saturday, June 23, 2007

Today, I am a man.

By Hobbit standards, anyway.

I really hope Gandalf stays the hell home. I'm too old for his weeded-up antics and those fireworks are about as enjoyable as a hemorrhoid in the eye.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Bad Haiku for a Summer's Day

The ice cream truck jingles
With the severe thunderstorm mingles
I'm dry and lactose intolerant.

Happy Solstice, people.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sharing the love with all you out there.

Hard Gay has a special Father's Day message. HOO!


Sunday, June 10, 2007

Cat Protests Gardening, Film at 6!

I like to put a silly video here every week, and I thought this would be ready for last week, but I found out that it's much easier to show off other people's videos. Other people's videos may even be way funnier, but this...this one's of my little furry children.

There are many things I can brag about from this video, and my giant Smurf booty is not one those things. It's all about the furry children, this. Look how well they all get along now, how adorable my Fluffy One is fighting off my attempts to prune anything, how cool The Slinky One is around The Puppy, and how The Puppy walks on all her legs and doesn't kill us anymore.


Friday, June 08, 2007

The Mach 5 is out there...somewhere.

The official website is up for Speed Racer, the movie. OMGFANGIRLSQUEETIEMOKTHXBYE! All I will say is Inspector Detector and Shaft are in it. Holy wow.

There was a news conference about Speed Racer, and in it, I saw a tiny little blurry John Goodman looking very much like Pops Racer, a little guy named Paulie Litt next to him that may very well pull off being Spritle, and then...the car. The main actors are interviewed too. Man, this movie has a chance to not suck.

Oh yeah, and I had to look up who Matthew Fox is. Go ahead and laugh, I don't care. I just hope he's a good Racer X.


Monday, June 04, 2007

How rotting my brain kept it from going soft.

When I was a kid, I could have two conversations while playing the higher levels of the Activision game Frostbite, which if you're not familiar with it is sort of about building an igloo by jumping from ice block to ice block while you're set upon by a crazed bear, rabid crabs, flocks of evil birds and for all eternity. Sometimes, it gets dark.

I could deal with a lot more things back then, back when I used to get the magic fish ( wasn't particularly magical, but showed up after the score went past 100,000) every single night of my young life.

Have I hit a cure for whatever it is I have? I don't know. I could just hook up the Atari and test this theory, but I found a neat little game called Gamma Bros. which is hosted by Weebl & Bob, and I'll be conducting some serious experiments until my hand cramps up again.