More videos.

These videos may appeal to a wider audience, seeing as the subjects are cute animals. They are the animals who chose to live with me, so of course I would say they're cute, but there is a ridiculous amount of cute contained in the following videos, and I warn you to avoid driving for at least an hour after viewing these.

First up, The Puppy.

Macadamia is a crazy drunken boozehound. Note the stylish tether of two leashes, designed to protect her from getting into things which will injure her. The gin had been hidden in the back of a cupboard, but how was I to know she's a liquor-sniffing dog?




Next up, JT, the fluffy one. He is usually the rock to which all of us cling, the unshakable, fearless scout. The hole The Puppy dug was new to him, however...and therefore he feared it and it and it must be rejected.




Slinky-bean's dance is not for the faint of heart. He will entrance you, and the next thing you know, it's 7AM and your head is covered in feathers.

More videos.

Told you he did it.

The powers that be may have tried to keep this from getting out, but once more there is proof that Porkins did destroy the Death Star, and he rocked out while doing it.

Told you he did it.

Last I checked this bloody well was New York.

Scissor Sisters is a band based in New York. They're huge...in the UK. Two stations here in NY--WFUV, the only station worth listening to anymore; and WLIR, which I can no longer hear--are playing them. Twist Radio (a syndicated show on WPLJ) plays them too, once in a while, but is it enough to get them noticed? Or have they been noticed, and the owners of the stations that use our airwaves just have no idea what music is supposed to sound like in New York?

Someone who I'm sure has highly refined musical tastes by his comment that he likes everything from Mozart to Morrison (Jim, Van, Fred? I'm confused.) wrote that no one buys Scissor Sisters because they--in his expert opinion--suck. I responded that I'd take Scissor Sisters over Justin Timberlake, the Black Eyed Peas, Nickelback, and all their sound-alikes put together. I would. Have you heard the shite on Top 40 radio? Scissor Sisters are too good for them.

The program director of a Top 40 station in San Franciso says their new song, I Don't Feel Like Dancin' (#4 on the UK charts) is too reminiscent of the '70s for soccer moms to relate to. I once was asked if I was a soccer mom when I told a DJ from Mix 102.7 here in NY--during their "music to pick you up" phase--that I'd rather hear Warm Leatherette than Dance With My Father any day.

This may very well be why I have no children. Any children I am around get exposed to Tom Waits within three days. And yes, of course I'm going to now make it my business to expose everyone to Scissor Sisters as well, not only because they're a great band who actually write original music and more than one-line lyrics, but because I'm a spiteful person who wants to see I Don't Feel Like Dancin' do very well and prove Top 40 PDs on the other bloody end of the country wrong.

Scissor Sisters will be appearing on Dancing With The Stars on the 27th. I'm hoping this gets them noticed like mad, being the show is rather high in the ratings.

Last I checked this bloody well was New York.

Really sorry about the Pope.

Remember kids, just because the grown-ups are taller it doesn't mean they're smart.

As a sort of Catholic person, I just want to quickly take a moment before I'm killed to say that Popes through the ages generally are like the crazy old dude in the neighborhood who doesn't like living next door to anyone who doesn't look exactly like himself, and doesn't want their daughters going out wearing those damned slutty turtlenecks. He honestly just does not get that what he's saying is totally wrong, and his kids aren't going to mess up a perfectly nice day calling him on it, because the truth is he's just repeating what he heard some other old dude say.

Manuel II Paleologus...not really all that hep on his history, that guy. Totally missed the news about the Crusades. Or else he knew, and was just one of those ball-busters like some of the old dudes of today who say Hitler really cleaned things up before he went all ape-shit.

Of course I wouldn't be writing about this unless I had a brilliant solution. I think it might be a good idea to put the Pope on a five-minute tape delay, maybe hire Dead Air Dave to ride the dump button, and possibly get a session or two in with Miss Manners. Or Madonna; I think Madonna might be able to talk some sense into the Pope. If all else fails, I hear Sinéad O'Connor is still interested in rescuing God from religion. I wish her luck.

Really sorry about the Pope.

What I'm listening to right now.

Right this second, I'm listening to new music I actually like.

I came across Lily Allen while I was catching up with all the Comic Strip Presents shows I'd missed over the years. She's the daughter of Keith Allen, (Dr. Ghenghis from Gregory: Diary of a Mad Man, the lodger in Shallow Grave, and--as I knew him for 18 years--Mr. Bastardos from A Fistful of Traveler's Cheques) and she makes bloody good music. So far I love every song I've heard, and I'll go so far to say she could kick the ass of Gwen Stefani any day.

Go to her MySpace, listen to Smile and Knock 'Em Out. That's all I ask.

I'm just happy I've found something new to listen to that's good. The new Scissor Sisters, I Don't Feel Like Dancin' is good too. But that's another story, for another time.

What I'm listening to right now.