Attempting to blend in.

I watched a few episodes of Arrested Development tonight while I was deleting mail (I swear, deleting seems to be all I do, more than reading) and the show amused me. It is rare that I like a television show that lasts more than 12 episodes (I liked Manimal and Double Trouble, fer crying out loud), so if I ever get a chance to watch it again, I probably will. I could always let my e-mail amass until whatever night the show is on...that might work.

NOW YOU SEE WHY I NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE. HAHAHA.

No, the Kitchen Witch's new outfit is going great, I'm slipcovering her--she was wearing black, red and gray, which were the color of our kitchen some 15 years ago. Long has our witch waited in the basement to get hung again. That...just sounded wrong.

"Goody MacGowan, you have been found guilty of kitcheny witchery and will hang from the ceiling until your thread breaks. May God have mercy on your black, red and grey soul."

o_O

Um. Okay, could be heatstroke.

I also saw a commercial for Battlestar Galactica last night during Rebirth of Mothra 3, so I have now seen some Battlestar Galactica. Yay, me!

Attempting to blend in.

Not sure if I'd want to be Obi-Wan, or be hit by Obi-Wan.

Why didn't my school ever play games like this?

Dammit.

Not sure if I'd want to be Obi-Wan, or be hit by Obi-Wan.

Something I've wanted to do for a while.

Many months back, I thought I'd do what I do best, and come here to heckle the news. Not the real news, because it's not too funny these days, and even if I find some parts of it funny, that could just be my exposure to metals at a young age laughing.

Some of this goes back so far that it's not even in my memory banks anymore, but hey.

Tom Cruise

You wrecked Interview with the Vampire, man. Stop it, for the love of your Xenu and all that's holy in the world! Killing Oprah doesn't even come close to making up for it!

Saddam Hussein not liking Froot Loops

Aww, that's sad. Just think, if all the world could have their favorite cereals, maybe everyone wouldn't be big grumpyheads!

The 'slump' in the summer box office

See the previous two comments above, add lack of Harrison Ford movies, stir. Seriously, though, I had to assure the parents of 13-year-old that there wasn't any blood and gore in the Fantastic Four before they'd let her go see it. The parents, I can only assume, got to see at least one Nightmare on Elm Street in "their day" and are now overcompensating to the max. Stop it, people, before you raise a generation of people that will only want to make movies about asparagus.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas -- now with added S-E-X!

That is, tragically, the closest some gamers have probably ever gotten to...ah, I'm stereotyping. What do I know? I mean, it's not like I even can get near San Andreas on eBay. *cough*

Softball being taken out of the Olympics

I totally had to sit through China vs. Japan during the Athens games just to see some Table Tennis. Now, I bet I'll have to endure Water Polo. Someday, man...someday Table Tennis will get the respect it deserves and have the whole overnight show to itself.

Sony paying radio stations to play Celine Dion.

Somehow, I knew this. WPLJ would occasionally spin Cyndi Lauper's version of I Drove All Night, and for that, I was glad Celine Dion remade it. It's because of Dion's remake that Lauper's 1989 remake got popular on the '80s request shows again, and I love Cyndi Lauper.

Which brings me to this:

Faith No More's I'm Easy in a Levi's commercial.

Ten years ago, I used to annoy radio stations -- a certain radio station, anyway -- to play me a song. No, not Misty, but Faith No More's remake of I'm Easy. The station played the song once, during an alphabetical history of modern rock. I waited until 5am to tape the song off the radio that night. NOW, the blasted song's going to be popular to a bunch of new kids, and they'll all think they discovered Mike Patton, and I will have to track all these children down and make them listen to Mr. Bungle. Maybe I'll just wait until cooler weather.

Something I've wanted to do for a while.

Take this season and shove it.

I say, does anyone know a method of raccoon deterrent? Besides one involving a firearm, as I do not have one at my disposal. I do, however, have cats with radar, and they knew the thing was coming over the fence a full ten minutes before I did. Crikey.

All is now well, and the doors are locked, just in case the raccoon wanted to watch TV.

Take this season and shove it.

I'm not entirely sure how large groups of humans survived as long as they did.

I feel that Fox's So You Think You Can Dance was a deferred success. Yeah, that's right...I said deferred success. You know why? Because the Professional Association of Teachers in Britain has said that telling a student they've failed can put them off learning for life, and want a new word for failure. I just wanted to try the phrase out a few times, see if sounded less frightening after longterm use. It does not. I start envisioning bars full of people telling the bartender, "I'm such a deferred success story."

I got more entertainment out of that story than the bad dancers, however, because Fox didn't highlight the really bad dancers enough. I guess the lawsuits from American Idol have scared them off showcasing the really scary people.

Or many I'm just burnt. I went to the store for potato salad, and I didn't recognize the woman that lives behind us. I said it was because I usually see her from far away and laughed, but the truth is my neighbors--with the exception of the the guy who walks his Jack Russell terrier Alexis--look different every time I see them. It's like when they replaced Frisco on General Hospital, Nan and I watched for one hour and never realized the new guy was supposed to be Frisco. Crazy. I only watched General Hospital during the Luke/Laura saga, really. The whole Aztec treasure arc with Jack Wagner sort of sprang from that, and I never watched anymore after I discovered Inspector Gadget.

There are reasons I don't watch much television anymore, and I think I've outlined many of them here. It's just too sad to look back on. Years from now, I will remember Nancy Grace and laugh. Or cry.

I'm not entirely sure how large groups of humans survived as long as they did.