Thursday, January 19, 2006

From the desk of Diana Williams.

The anchor of the local evening news says some strange things. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say it's really the person writing the words she says who is completely over-dramatic, but it's Diana Williams who speaks these words, and Diana Williams who I listen to just a little closer than other news anchors for her insights.

We had some bad weather in the Tri-State area. We got away with a few shingles that came from some mysterious place that we can't identify, but other people were not so lucky. A man was killed by a falling tree, and that just plain sucks.

Saying that downed trees transformed the area into a warzone, however, strikes me as excessive. That is what Diana Williams read over a shot of a tree lying prone on a rainy road. The tree was not carrying a weapon, that I saw.

I may be incorrect, but from what I've heard, trees did not walk into the road and detonate themselves. Nor did they gang up on the rooted trees of the Tri-State area, imprison them and take pictures of them with today's paper. There was no tree resistance, where some cooler-headed trees got the hell out of town while they plotted how to get the seriously pissed off and mad trees that wanted to go all kamikaze on people's houses out of power.

We are not living in Isengard...yet.


Rainbow Heron said...

Why do I still get the feeling that "Isengard" is really a phonetic pun on "eyes on guard" or "I's en garde"?

At least it's nice to know that most trees are sane.

BrideOfPorkins said...

I wonder if the Númenoreans sang the Numa Numa song and did the whole dance and everything.

Rainbow Heron said...

While I've never seen the vids online, I wonder what would happen if the Numa Numa guy and the Star Wars Kid decided to throw a party.

BrideOfPorkins said...

This guy would be the DJ: