Saturday, December 24, 2005


Greetz from holiday central, where it's a balmy 45° outside, there is only a small pile of snow left in the corner of the yard where the sun doesn't reach in winter, and the log of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough made 12 cookies. Boy, things seemed bigger when I was littler.

Wigwam Jones' tale of what God wants for Christmas made me want to tell an anecdote about something that I said this week that made me feel funny in a strange way.

I have a nativity set that belonged to my great-grandmother...I think. I was always quite attached to the figures--in a non-idol-worship kinda way, really--and a few years back I bought a new manger, because the cardboard one I made to replace the original carboard manger looked like it had been made by a ten-year-old on loads of Benedryl. Turns out I can't put the manger out because it tastes good, so for the past two years the figures have sat on the television, because they're less likely to get knocked over or lost that way.

I picked up the weird habit of hiding baby Jesus until midnight on Christmas Eve. I realize I just made that look like a dirty game, but no, I just don't display baby Jesus--who is molded into a cushy straw crib that I guess Joseph cobbled together--until the big day. So Mary--who has redder lips painted on her than most of my Princess Leia dolls--along with Joseph and the Wise Men--two of which are painted in 1950s lawn jockey black skintones--stand, kneel and gaze adoringly upon the little empty spot in the center of the television.

I'm getting older, and I forget things, so I like to tell everyone where I've put baby Jesus, so in case I forget, I have two backups. When I decorated the other day, I told my mother, "Okay, Jesus is in the drawer under the tv, next to the catnip."

I meant well, I really did.


xodiaq said...

That makes it SO much easier for me to find Jesus!

Next time somebody around here asks me if I've found Jesus, I can tell them "Yes! I know exactly where he is!!"

BrideOfPorkins said...

Well, He moves around. Today, He's on top of the television, but in a few days--I'm not sure Pat Robertson will be able to handle this--Baby Jesus will be in our closet, along with the Wise Men, Mary, Joesph and a cow of some sort. I misplaced the donkey three years ago, and I think he may have run off to help Santa in Italy.

Rainbow Heron said...

We didn't decorate this year, save for an egg-nog-drunken singing frog, but whenever we put our creche out, we hide the wisemen until Epiphany and some years we'd hide Jesus until Christmas as well. So you're not alone there.

BrideOfPorkins said...

If I had a really big area to set it up, I'd totally start the wise men out on the other side of the room, and move them closer each day, but as it is now, they'd have to beware of the big people and that would just look like a B-movie.

I hope the frog got some flies for his singing, I never know what to give carolers, but I'm guessing lots of food would come in handy.