Monday, July 10, 2006

"I think...I think I'm getting a sun tan."

There is something undeniable about me, and that is that I should not be exposed to sunlight. Another undeniable fact is that if insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, I am completely insane.

I am also not quite completely tan, but slightly gradient.

From my bird-chasing, puppy-wrangling, cat-protecting, plant transplating escapades, the back of my neck is quite brown. I checked to make sure it wasn't dirt or hair dye, and it is, in fact, the only bit that always gets hit with the sun, so my neck is really tan. My back is not. Neither is my face. So I kinda look like the Ultimate Hair Queen Amidala doll, except for the hair and snappy clothes. Yes, I have red spots on my face; no, I did not apply them. I also have farmer's tan. That's when half your arm gets a tan, and the rest is as pale as the other bits that are usually covered.

My legs are corpse white, except for the mosquito bites and puppy teeth bruises. My knees, you may have guessed, are as tan as my arms.

I think I've given enough of a vision to you all today, and I part with these words:

Protect your trees, and they will protect you...unless they die and fall on you.


Rainbow Heron said...


And it's really brown and not red or painful or anything? Gracious! Congratulations!

(And Happy Belated Birthday too, I miss alot when offline.)

BrideOfPorkins said...

Thanks! I was offline that day too, I think. I forget. I know there was cake.

No, surprisingly the red painful bits on my skin were only put there by the flying blood bank. I think those "nurses" they send out are running a scam, I haven't heard anything about a great mosquito tragedy on the news yet.

I had to get the sunblock out today, though, it's evil outside and it began to melt m'brain. The puppy likes the taste of sunblock, so it also prevents puppy bites. I'm just being licked to death. I hope she hasn't eaten poop today.