Heaven Must be Missing a Gas Line.

Philadelphia, the company responsible for the glorious thing known as cream cheese, has a new ad on TV. Maybe you've seen it.

Angels, for some reason, are the spokes...beings for Philly, and tragically, they show that even when you go to heaven, if you're a blonde, you're going to be stereotypically a few feathers short of a full wingspan. Silly in the halo-holder, I mean. Dumb as a brick.

I'm not sure why, but in Philadelphia's vision of heaven, there is a break room. Enter the blonde angel, who cannot get the oven to heat up. Maybe this isn't heaven after all.

The snarky darker-haired (but with highlights!) angel makes a comment about the oven being in shock because blondie never uses it. So basically we now have The Odd Couple afterlife-style...with cooking required.

That's where the great news comes in. Philadelphia now sells cheesecake in a tub! You don't have to make your own, you just buy this, scoop it out of the package, into a crust, refrigerate in the great heavenly fridge, and you can have desert without following a recipe!

Oh, the angels sing. Or eat. They're very skinny angels, perhaps that's where the heaven part comes in. Eat as much cheesecake as you want; continue to look the same. That was also the plot of The Golden Girls, wasn't it?

Heaven Must be Missing a Gas Line.