Monday, April 02, 2007

How to properly travel with little ones.

First, use drugs. Uppers for the driver, downers for the passengers.

Second, all passengers must be securely strapped into the vehicle.

Third, use of a mixtape is encouraged.

Fourth, dress accordingly.

Fifth, document the event.

(This is no exaggeration.)

It is also a good idea to ensure that what you are leaving the house for actually will be at your destination. For instance, if the trip involves vaccinations, call ahead to see if there are enough virulent vials in stock. We've made this error once; it will not happen again.

A side note to all animal care facilities: when the appointments for the day mention vaccinations and you have run out, call. It helps. As nice as your staff may be, we don't go there merely to socialize.

Oh, and in case you guys all rely solely on me for up-to-the-minute news, avoid pet food with wheat gluten. Also, Italy won the World Cup, someone you know may be a Cylon, there's a chance of rain tonight with temperatures in the mid-40s, and alternate side of the street parking is in effect. Next time, find out which big-time rapper was seen out on the town with a Hollywood hottie!

1 comment:

Ari said...

I have to take an Advil beforehand because my arm gets tired from repeatedly shoving my pug away from the gearshift.