Friday, April 13, 2007

The Most Interesting Things I Got Right Now.

I woke up this morning and my voice was missing. It happens all the time, it's detachab--no, that's something else. I lost my voice. It'll turn up, but that's not the fascinating part.

My cats' voices are unaffected by the loss of my voice. I'm not talking about the delightful notes of musical joy that come out of them when they want to go outside, or come in, or have a bird notice them, or just shoot the breeze with us, I'm talking about the voice that says stuff like, "Hey you, you got a crunchy for me, okay?" or, "LAWSUIT!"

My Puppy also lost her voice, so I'm beginning to think the cats have in fact managed to possess me when they want to ask a question like, "How much fish you give?"

That's a very important question, you know, and one I think everyone should ask themselves at least once a day, even if they have no audible voice.

That's not to say my voice isn't audible, because I had to freak out earlier over the potential billing of an Internet security feature I never signed up for, and I assure you, I was able to squeeze a sound so horrid out of my right tonsil that not only was I not billed, but my Sailor Moon magnet fell off the wall.

I keep my magnets stuck to the walls, you know, because they're too heavy to stay on the fridge. Apparently, they're also too heavy to stay stuck on the wall.

In order to bring this post around to the beginning again, I will state that I need to eat things as heavy as my Sailor Moon magnet, so my acid stays down, and I can get back to speaking like Charlie Brown's teacher instead of like that guy in Mickey Blue Eyes. You know the guy. You should know the guy. No, not Hugh Grant.
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1 comment:

Wigwam Jones said...

Ha! I know that song you are making the obscure reference to. King Missile is the band, as I recall. Yeah, breakfast at the Kiev.