We Need A Movie About Vampiric Race Car Drivers Made Of Paper Who Foil Volcanos With Bad Grammar

Last Saturday we finally got around to watching Ocean's 13. It's like, we just keep coming back for more. At least this one let us in on what the hell was going on a few more times than 12. I think.

Monday, we took the car in again, going for a record. The battery terminal connector that's been stripped and loose since the '90s is finally all shiny and tight. I'm a little sad that I didn't get to keep the old connector or the banged up penny, but I took a picture, and...that'll last longer. On the way home I was cut off by a great big yellow van with some red substance splattered all over the side (it was paint...I'm sure). For the first time ever, I gave the finger to a fellow driver. Wow. Luckily, it went unnoticed.

Monday night I finally got to see Dracula with Bela Lugosi. I'd seen bits of it before, but this is the first time I'd ever seen the one, the...well, not only...original Dracula. I giggled like Renfield, I was so happy.

The next movie to come on was Dracula's Daughter, where Van Helsing gets arrested for staking a man that is not quite Bela Lugosi. Then they do a vampire test on a girl with a flickering light and she freaks out. Further proof that I am a vampire.

Tuesday night, Nan found The Bitter Tea Of General Yen, which she told me was a movie my Grandpa Ray always told her she had to see. So of course I had to see it. Movies where white men pretend to be Chinese never fail to get my attention, and movies involving culture clashes never fail to amuse the living hell out of me. I wonder if Martians have a thriving movie business of, "Look at the funny humans, isn't their way of life weird." Note to self: when going to another country, learn the language, it helps avoid becoming an accessory to spying. Also don't get hit on the head, or fall for your captor, he'll only drink poison to get away from your crying.

In between movies, I discovered Pete Smith's Specialties. The one I linked to isn't the one I saw, but you get the idea. Fan-frikkin'-tastic genius. Old-timey me would've gone to the theaters just to see these when I had some money from playing cards in the back alley.

The Mask Of Fu Manchu, which came on after that, made Indy IV look like serious archaeology. Oh man. The classics remind me how great it was to just enjoy a movie and not get hung up on technicalities like injecting dudes with dragon's blood, Fu Manchu blood, snake venom, spider...stuff, and a little Listerine for mind control.

But that was not the last movie on TCM that night! No...Targets came on. It's a '60s movie about how guns, candy and rock 'n' roll make you nutty. Or something. I actually went to bed before it was over. Boris Karloff was involved, and for once he wasn't wearing prosthetic makeup. In the movie, not in my bed.

The next day brought rain, dancing on TV, Russian soldiers dancing to Run DMC on YouTube and a movie about a volcano under a snowy ski lodge. I was catching up on things that needed catching up on, as part of my plan to catch up on a lot of things, and so mainly just noticed a lot of ashen skiers. Or something. Then they stopped a volcanic eruption with a CGI avalanche. Right-on.

I discovered more papercraft goodies on cubeecraft.com, I have a blocky little Indiana Jones smirking at me now...and you can too. You can have a whole army of little blocky folks. I wonder how Pee Wee Herman and Jason Voorhees would get along. Hmm.

There was some silliness to end the week, I finally got around to seeing The Ramp Movie in its entirety, and then I learned of the odd thing that happens of you Google "Babby" and hit I'm feeling lucky. I enjoy that kind of weird. I do.

We Need A Movie About Vampiric Race Car Drivers Made Of Paper Who Foil Volcanos With Bad Grammar