Thursday, September 22, 2005

No, I didn't actually go offline.

Although that would have been clever, had I left it with a whole diatribe about hy hours on the computer and then actually did leave. I could have said I did, but then I couldn't say I've been to and it was funny.

No, actually what I have been doing since Monday is attempting to gain control over the faulty hyperdrive that is my brain. This week's plan was to excercise. Oh my. I don't like to do that, because if I'm going to travel 0.8 of a mile, I want to be somewhere else when I'm done. But no, I went back to my well-chewed ski machine named Faisal with the broken arm, and have since spent a total of thirty minutes going nowhere at a rate of 0.7 mph. RAWR.

Should I explain the description? Okay, sure, why not. In the '90s, we got a ski machine. I ended up being the only person who used it, and I name things. In the winter olympics of 1994, there was a cross-country skier who could not compete, or he did, but he came in was a long time ago. His name was Faisal, he was Moroccan, and I believe CBS was trying to find the next Eddie Edwards. I aspired to this great height, and named the ski machine after this guy that could go maybe 0.2 of a mile faster than me...but so much further. Not really, it was joke, and it stuck. Because things stick with me. Then the following year, my puppy ate the plastic trim on the ski machine. About two years back, my strapping right arm managed to break the oft-welded "ski pole" off the machine again, and this time, it was not welded back on, but tied on with some telephone wire. Telephone wire is strong, man.

So, ten minutes on the ski machine is ten minutes I'm not at a keyboard, and while that's good for the most part, I haven't gotten to catch up on some things. Being this blog was never meant to be a log of my daily brain farts, I sorta didn't have anything else to report. Except that I need to lose 12 words from something as soon as possible. Also, I am having difficulty with the "End of the Line" mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Past posts may have indicated that I couldn't afford that game, but the sudden rush of people getting the game away from the innocent children (that shoudn't have had it in the first place) made one copy available to me--legally, too. Shocking. I *heart* Wu Zi Mu. I would also like to make it known to the world that my grandmother staged an elaborate Las Venturas casino heist, and is really good at jacking motorcycles and shooting gang members.


Rainbow Heron said...

I FOUND YOU!!!! [tackle/hug!!!] I tried emailing you ages ago but it bounced back. :-( MISSED YOU VERY MUCH!

re: post
I knew you wouldn't. ;-)

Go offline that is.

"Exercise" can be a very bad word, so can "going offline". I'm very guilty of the second. My guilt on the first is debateable. Does yoga count as "exercise"? Does breathing? How about yoga breathing? I know "going offline to do yoga breathing" is exercise because it means you have to stand up and walk to the yoga mat and when compared to sitting down, "standing up and walking" is exercise. However, I don't think putting your hands and feet on the ground and sticking your butt in the air counts as exercise. Even if you are breathing.

BrideOfPorkins said...

WHOA! Where'd you park the Jump DMC?!

[tackle/hugs ya right back!] Missed you (all) too!

Yeah, hotmail ate all my mail a long time ago, the MS butterfly became Mothra, and not nice Mothra from Rebirth of Mothra II, either. :P

The sticking your butt in the air exercise usually leads to the practical joke exercises, I've found.

Rainbow Heron said...

[everyone else tackle/hugs..."can we still call you DG?"]

The Jump-DMC is still lodged in the sandcrawler where it was at the last Sith War. I think the 'Puffs put some bubble gum under the tires for fun and then it got all hot and it all melted together. I'm still waiting for the paperwork to go thru so I can get new tires. Stupid red tape. :-P~ The sigs red taped the file cabinet shut. The paperwork said it could get thru by itself. I'm so gullable. So I threw a fit, the Pokemon caught it, and then the sigs gave them shelter (again) in the .sig bunker. I think they've all formed their own fraternity in there cuz I keep seeing them in togas. It scares the new neighbors. That's part's always fun to watch. :-D

Things have been very slow lately because we bought a new house and we've been paying "maintenance" to make up for all those years we've been paying "rent". I've been paying for the "sticking my butt in the air exercise" quite dearly because you are SO right about the practical joke exercise! At least my butt looks better than it used to. I think...(Kidding aside, congrats on making yourself exercise!)

I feel your pain about the lawn keep-up. One of the reasons we bought this house was for the trees. Now most of the trees have to be cut down. :-( Stupid landscapers planted them too close to the house and on public property and stuff like that. At least I got to pick out my own paint for my room for the first time in my life! [cheers!] It's Dignity Blue. Something I wish the crew would do once in a while. They've been climbing the trees and swimming in the pool while I've been inside sick and doing other stuff. I'm very jealous. [everyone snickers] Ah, Real Life. Interesting thing that.'ve got two new furries in your crew! And a new handle! Do tell! [everyone looks eager] How are the others taking it?

BrideOfPorkins said...

Well, Darth Gumby was killed by the sea cucumbers, but you can call me whatever you like, just don't call me late for dinner.

I think I missed a Sith War or two. Wow.

It's good to have a good-looking butt if that butt is going to be in the air, congrats on that, and the new house! Dignity Blue sounds way better than indignant reddish-purple, does Dutch Boy still make that one?

Rainbow Heron said...

I dunno about Dutch Boy, we've been using Sherwin-Williams. They know us on sight by now.

We still have the mushrooms from when Darth Gumby died. I think they've started to glow in the dark. I pretty sure it was just the one Sith War you missed (I didn't participate but I read along), I haven't checked RASSM for a while now. I remember Tilson turned into the Incredible Hulk because he lost at a card game with the Sith Squid.

[PeterPika tugs at RH:]"If DG isn't DG anymore and is Bride of Porkins, does what mean we call her BOP?"

[sigs start playing be-bop]

Rainbow Heron said...

PS- that reminds me, you wouldn't believe the paint job the previous owners did to the house! I really should upload those pix for posterity. [everyone snickers and then shudders] Talk a project! Thanks! :-D

BrideOfPorkins said...

Be-Bop, She-Bop, it's all cool. *snaps along*

I saw a lizard-pattern paint job in a room on House Hunters once, and tiger-striped wallpaper...on the ceiling...of a bathroom. I think when people are leaving a house, they redesign it so it's easier to leave. That has to be it.

Rainbow Heron said...

I wish I could say that was it. No, these people *lived in the house* with it this way. They actually coordinated their bedroom which incorporated the pimp purple wall color (not kidding). And she was into the real estate business...and colorblind. I'm scared to say the rest.

At least they didn't put tiger print on the ceiling in the bathroom. That just sounds horrible for the folks moving in! Lizards I can live with (and I do).