From a nearby radio, Behind Blue Eyes plays. A green and orange rechargable battery sits on a chair, its positive terminal gazing blankly into space.
Q: So, you were lost for a while?
A: Yeah. It was rough.
Q: Separated from your partner--
A: Yeah, I guess it was rough for everybody.
Q: And you don't remember that night?
A: Well...it was New Year's Eve. I had just left my charger, and I was riding in a chest pocket, when we--
Q: You fell?
A: Yeah.
Q: Take all the time you need.
A: It's just, I laid there, I don't know how long.
Q: Then the dogs found you?
A: Yeah, and I was carried out--
Q: You were just dumped on the ground, weren't you?
A: There was so much going on.
Q: Were you--
A: Peed on? I can't remember.
Q: Were you happy when you found out you were going home?
A: Oh yeah, my partner and I, we just spent a night on the desk, and in the morning, I was right back to work, like nothing happened.
Q: What do you think other batteries will say about you?
A: I don't really care about that. I've gotten some negativity from the alkalines....
Q: The non-rechargeables?
A: Yeah, but they're jealous anyway. The important thing is I just want to go back to making music with my partner, and in a few days, I'll recharge again, and with any luck this will all be forgotten by the media.
Q: What do you think of batteries like the Telepower who was overcharged?
A: That's...that was a tragic, terrible thing. I knew that battery. We used to go to the charger together. I could have been in the charger that day.
Q: You're very lucky.
A: Yeah, I feel bad for the battery left, you know, they have to charge in pairs....
Q: Are you offering?
audience laughs
A: No. No, what kind of sicko do you think I am?
Q: Well I--
A: You're just like all the other reporters! This interview is over! Get me out of here.
The battery sits on a chair, light flashing angrily off its positive terminal. A cat paw reaches around the chair and pulls the battery to safety.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Interview with a rechargeable battery.
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2 comments:
Some batteries are afraid of getting "jumped." This one appears fairly healthy considering the hell it's been through.
Aren't all diseases batteries contract considered "terminal?"
I am stopping now. Enjoyed your blog, I'll be back!
"AAA" for effort (both of ya!)
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