Thursday, July 03, 2008

Do Yourself In Project #34: The Bed Blocks

So I have this hernia. I mention it only because it's the entire reason why I hauled out the sawhorse and the jigsaw and a bunch of wood to make my bed look like a funny car.

Why make bed-raising things out of wood when you can buy some ready-made? Because that takes mo-ney, and after all I have bits of wood left over from all the other things we've built...those heavy things that aggravated my hernia. So six months after this most recent big-time* hernia aggravation, I finally got it into my head to make proper permanent blocks to replace the stack of wood I had to remove because it wasn't safe for others. Nothing wakes you up faster than the sound of your bed killing people.

Raising the wheels at the head of the bed is really the only effective way to make a hiatal hernia stop being an annoying little bastard. So it had to be done. Once my mom saw the first one all stuck together with duct tape (makes it easier to nail), she realized why I was making her saw all these tiny little pieces into even smaller pieces. She was impressed the next day when I woke up and could speak without the use of gymnastics or caustic food. Before that she was just like, not enthusiastic aboutthe project.

This is what I had her cut:

  • Two 3-inch long sections of 2x4 for each leg (that would be 4)
  • "Sides" for each leg, sort of a box around the 2x4 blocks which were measured very scientifically by holding the 2x4 bits up and drawing a line around them. The purpose of the box was to keep the wheels of the bed from rolling off the blocks in case the bed is moved.
  • A 4-inch square to sit all that on, and a 5-inch square to sit that on, because pyramids don't tip, yo.

This whole thing, nailed together, brings the head of bed up six inches, which is said to be the proper gut-dropping angle. It worked, really. I mean, after lifting the bed to get the wood under the wheels. That part sort of sucked.

As of today it's been a week since this project and hopefully all the damage that started during the happy healthy Puppy time to eat too much Lo Mein and then prune trees day is healing. I can talk more often than not, which is a complete reversal of how it's been since that nice patch of weather in January when I decided to get a jump on the yardwork, followed by that bad patch of weather where I shoveled the slush...after er...eating too much. ONE TIME. ONE TIME AND I GET MY ESOPHAGUS HANDED TO ME. Fie foul noodles! They really were quite tasty, I can't lie. Not as tasty as the smell of fresh-cut pine boards, but hey.

*No, really, I knew it would take a while to go away, but dude, six months?

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