Friday, February 15, 2008

The cost of not having your parts fall off.

In all the horrid weather, with the flu, my mum had to go have her blood pressure checked out this week, because each time she has her Unna Boot changed, the nurses take her blood pressure and notice it's high. Oh noes.

High blood pressure is serious kids, know that. But also, know that my family, the women of the family, we've all got the blood pressure to orbit the planet given the right's visits and obesity. Yes. But the doctor insisted on giving her a pill for it, and after five days, mum had new problems she's never had before. And believe me, I love my mum, but I would have killed her if she asked because these new side effects were most uncool. I don't know how I would have managed to kill her, actually, because I'm not even strong enough to lift the kettle at coffee time right now, but I don't have to think about it now because she's off the pills and she and Nan are all gung-ho to lose some weight again. Because that works, it's worked in the past. I'm not just talking out my bum, I've seen it work for them. In 1987, and 1989, and 1991, and 1995, and 2006.

Me, I had the family high blood pressure, then I had a hiatal hernia, then I had reflux, then I had oatmeal for three months, and since then my blood pressure has dropped so low that I can't stand up really fast or I plummet to the floor leaving a Looney Tunes me-shaped hole behind. So I cannot orbit the planet, but that's okay, as long as I don't orbit the staircase.

I'm getting away from the point. My mum, she's had to have that Unna Boot changed quite a bit. On the first visit, Dr. Gunduz the vascular specialist swore he was the only person who could change the bandage, because he has the skillz. That was the last week mum saw him, after that it's all been random nurses, and some have been great, and some have already made it into entries here, but they all have one thing in common: they need to eat.

We got the bill for these outpatient follow-ups to the $16,000 gangrene-avoiding hospital stay. Having bandages changed tacked on another $2000. OMGZ! It cost over $200 a week to go have an Unna Boot I could get off eBay for less than $20 changed!


Now, you may recall my bitter little countdown about Mum's Medicare coverage. She's covered now, and Aetna was great for the prescription that nearly sent Mum mad, but the hospital...they don't take Aetna. And they just thought to mention that detail this week.

Although I realize it is not technically my responsibility to pay off my mum's medical bills, I always feel like I should do something. It's true I'm trying to get published, but hey, I'm not that good. I'm not that good at anything. I would have to be a very good lady of the night to pay that kind of a bill off. Not that I'm offering. Unless, you know, there's a call for holding flannel shirts while amorous cats have their fun.

Perhaps I should offer my services as an Unna Boot changer. Hmm.

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