Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Buzzing.

So very close to being caught up on my past 100 Word Stories' weekly challenge entries, but as long as I keep taking part in new ones, I continue to be behind in the old ones. Just like clean socks. I think. See, I have these saggy socks, but because they went in the drawer on top, they're always the first socks I pull out. With that exciting insight into the life of yours truly, I give you a tale most weird.

Mosquitoes and Prosthetics, which sounds like a Sam Phillips album, was the product of the week I co-won with Daphne Abernathy. I didn't suggest mosquitoes. HOW CRAZY IS THAT?! I think at the time the little bastards hadn't hatched here. Now of course I'm quite drained, quite puffy, quite itchy, and I can't bend my chin to my chest.

In high school all the cool kids wanted to be vampires, but I had smaller plans. I was fascinated by the real bloodsuckers that could fly wherever they pleased--even sacred ground in broad daylight. Mosquitoes.

I studied night and day, starving myself until I weighed only a few pounds, and when I was sure it could be done, just before chopping my arms and legs off, I went online.

I paid every penny I'd saved by not eating on a brand new prosthetic proboscis, and I swear that thing is just a bendy straw that reeks of tomato juice.


Hear me slap myself to death alongside 10 other fantastic tales here.
Share/Save/Bookmark

1 comment:

Wigwam Jones said...

Creepy and excellent! But how do you chop that last limb off? I mean, logistics and all. Well, I'm just sayin'.