Monday, June 22, 2009

I Didn't Mean Flossing That Way, But...Whatever Works!

I am so addicted to these 100 Word Stories' weekly challenges, I write my entries even when completely and utterly insane. Could be old age, could be overload, but when it gets to the point where I had to cut and paste my recording together so the intro words came out sounding less like crackhead Yoda and more like some harmless dizzy broad and then the story itself leaves Laurence Simon speechless, I know it's time to cut back on something. Still haven't figured out what I want to cut back on. Maybe crazy is good, and I just have to keep doing EVERYTHING until Elvis drives a bus through my computer and accumulates me.

The theme was Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, and of course I went soap opera. Or...needing soap. Something.

"Doc, you gotta help me! I’ve got this rash, and it’s just like one my mother has on her… well, never mind. The other night I found a strange thong under my husband's pillow and I threatened to throw the toaster into the hot tub with him if he didn't tell me the truth.

"I said, 'I know you only married me because I was a younger version of my mother, did you give me her rash?!'

"He says, 'No, I got it from your father's girlfriend.' What am I gonna do?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm.… First things first. Have you been flossing?"

Listen to the challenge and you'll hear 10 things that'll make you go, "Hmmmmmmmmmmm," and me playing both the crazy woman and the befuddled dentist! I'm becoming nearly as fractured as I am in real life!

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