I used to be really good at revenge--in my head. So when the 100 Word Stories' weekly challenge involved revenge, AND pineapples, I was totally there. Like I wouldn't be if it was about Parcheesi or something.
The topic was Death by Pineapple, Revenge Shall be Mine, and Failed Wolfram Alpha Queries. What the hell is Wolfram Alpha, you may ask, as I did back in the day when the topic was announced? I can't explain it, because I currently have scrambled brains, and if you listen to the recording you'll hear I can't even say it too many times, but it's fabulous and I found out I've been around a really really long time. Not as long as kebabs. That segue'll make sense in a second.
The term kebabs originated in 1813. I have a thing for dates. So did my boyfriend...1980 to 2008. We did something wild to celebrate our collective 49 years of life and went to Hawaii for their 49th anniversary of statehood.
Clayton jumped up to dance the tamure with some hula dancers and they became so enraged at his geographical error one impaled him on a flaming pineapple kebab. I don’t know what came over me but I set fire to the hotel and ran away.
I can’t figure out how long I can hide in this tree with Wolfram Alpha.
Okay, maybe it won't make sense, maybe I'm still writing everything in Greek like I used to as a kid. The other 14 stories appear to be in the same language, though, and they're all here.