Sunday, July 22, 2007

Explaining it All Away.

(I feel the need to point out that the following news is unsurprising and my apparent ignorance is really a deep-rooted sarcasm mechanism which I have honed over the course of many nights.)

Children who prefer the night are more-likely to be anti-social. This just in: Vampires have fangs.

I don't think these findings are totally accurate. As a child, I got along with anyone willing to stay up until 4AM playing Atari or watching Mary Tyler Moore. It was only during daylight hours that I hated everyone. Even the infamous rake kicking incident took place while the light of the sun was just leaving the sky.

Honestly, people, who will our next generation of night workers be if all the kids are monitored vigilantly into a state of being ready for the button-down hours of The Man?

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