Sunday, July 29, 2007

How I Almost Ruined Meringue.

I woke up slurring. But that was not it. I could hear just fine. What I heard were instructions to gradually add the sugar when the egg whites were "frothy."

"AH DA ESS NOW!" I believe I said, then realized it was the eggs bubbling, and said, "DE SUGR! AH DE SUGR! DEY SAH FROHY! SAR ADDIN IT!"

I actually enunciate a little better than this when my jaw's all locked up thanks to my ventriloquism fixation of 1986, but I have to give an idea of what I must sound like to people, and that's the one I'm going with today. Anyway, I heard the word frothy, saw bubbles, and commandeered the making of meringue.

Fifteen minutes later, meringue was just beginning to form. Why? Because "frothy" is not when you add the sugar. "Frothy" is like when you get rabies from drinking too much peroxide (don't do it, kids) and a quick look at "How to akme merigue" on Google told me that the egg whites had to be way past frothy to start getting some sugar.

Notice how I develop dyslexia when I'm slurring. I love Sunday. Not as much as I love pie.

(I am happy to report that two days later the pie was gone, but we were all still alive. Meringue can work if you add the sugar too soon, but only if you burn it to a crisp in the oven to avoid death by raw egg whites.)


Wigwam Jones said...

Well, now. That's just, um, special. I trust you have the feeling back in your fingers and toes by now?

I find Jack Daniels has a similar effect on my speeling.

Ari said...

O. M. G. that was funny. I had a ventriloquism fixation too (but I think it was 1982 when it happened). I can still say stuff without moving my mouth.